Wednesday, 26 Dec 07
9.24pm
Do you know how sometimes---when you are riding your bike and you start skidding across sand, or when you miss a step and start tumbling down the stairs---you have those long, long seconds to know that you are going to hurt, and badly?
All this month i had been keeping it to myself. Even if i do let it out to whoever, its only 90%. The last 10% is the one that i am really worrying about. I decided to use another approach, to loosen out my feelings.
I'd try to stuff myself into that senario, but it was like wearing a size five sneaker when your foot is a seven---you can get by for a few steps, and then you sit down and pull off the shoe because it just plain hurts too much. I am convinced that there is a censor sitting on my brain with a red stamp, reminding me what i am not supposed to even think about, no matter how "seductive" it might be.
It's probably a good thing. I have a feeling that if i really try to figure out who i am without that person in the equation, I'm not going to like who i see.
I tried questioning myself why am i here, why must i know that person. Maybe its fate, wanting us to know each other. Its just like a sweet. It tasted sweet at first. But now, the taste starts to fade away, as if theres ants, trying to snatch the taste away... I am just so......afraid to loose it, even how hard i tries to keep it within me.
I want to be a thief, to steal you away again.
Even if its a temporary break, i want you to know that i still love you. To tell you the truth, i am just scared that you will leave me, because i all along needed you...
P.S. I LOVE YOU
9.24pm
Do you know how sometimes---when you are riding your bike and you start skidding across sand, or when you miss a step and start tumbling down the stairs---you have those long, long seconds to know that you are going to hurt, and badly?
All this month i had been keeping it to myself. Even if i do let it out to whoever, its only 90%. The last 10% is the one that i am really worrying about. I decided to use another approach, to loosen out my feelings.
I'd try to stuff myself into that senario, but it was like wearing a size five sneaker when your foot is a seven---you can get by for a few steps, and then you sit down and pull off the shoe because it just plain hurts too much. I am convinced that there is a censor sitting on my brain with a red stamp, reminding me what i am not supposed to even think about, no matter how "seductive" it might be.
It's probably a good thing. I have a feeling that if i really try to figure out who i am without that person in the equation, I'm not going to like who i see.
I tried questioning myself why am i here, why must i know that person. Maybe its fate, wanting us to know each other. Its just like a sweet. It tasted sweet at first. But now, the taste starts to fade away, as if theres ants, trying to snatch the taste away... I am just so......afraid to loose it, even how hard i tries to keep it within me.
I want to be a thief, to steal you away again.
Even if its a temporary break, i want you to know that i still love you. To tell you the truth, i am just scared that you will leave me, because i all along needed you...
P.S. I LOVE YOU