Monday, 18 Feb 08
9.00pm
Life just sucks day by day. so does school. i dont simply find a reason for looking forward to school nowadays without anything to look forward to in the first place. its not the same as last year anymore, whereby i look forward to school at least because of somethings.
Life seems to be meaningless. well, maybe it is happening for me. every weekday wake up go school, come back home in the eveninig or even at night, feeling out of breath, exhuasted, not even had dinner yet, and not to say thinking about the chunks of homeworks and stress waiting for you to clear. sometimes you just dont want to think about the shit homeworks you still have to do and just plonk onto your bed and get a good rest of at least 6 hours. but it seems that this is never gonna be true. thinking about the committments i have and all the rubbish, my brain can just go haywire.
Competition period is here, and i have to stress about it. Not that i will be playing for every single match, but about coach, stressing me to go for trainings which are TOTALLY USELESS AND MEANINGLESS whereby none of the sessions i see him coaching me. What's the point? i wouldn't be so stupid like an freaking idiot to listen to him and go for trainings.
Tests are coming here. starting this wednesday and will be having test every week then. i have no idea which and what kind of state will i turn to.
Ballet exam next month. i obviously do not have much time left to start squeezing time to practice at home. it is definitely not very nice to start your new week in school EVERY MONDAYS, having muscle cramps, especially your calves muscles, not being able to walk properly or rum properly or even get your butt down on the floor. Do i have to endure this pain every week? yes i do. and it always last for at least 3 days before it goes off. blisters arent very nice for me too. getting all those shit blisters on my toes are totally hell. especailly when you have to waste one whole bunch of plasters just for your toes when you practice ballet, and then after you just throw them away for new ones. And then the worst things are on every mondays in school i have PE in school and got to run around around the track, and i just have to run and not think about the shit on pain.
Modern jazz exam coming up in may. i don't give a damn about it.
I am screwed.
Crying in my heart.
9.00pm
Life just sucks day by day. so does school. i dont simply find a reason for looking forward to school nowadays without anything to look forward to in the first place. its not the same as last year anymore, whereby i look forward to school at least because of somethings.
Life seems to be meaningless. well, maybe it is happening for me. every weekday wake up go school, come back home in the eveninig or even at night, feeling out of breath, exhuasted, not even had dinner yet, and not to say thinking about the chunks of homeworks and stress waiting for you to clear. sometimes you just dont want to think about the shit homeworks you still have to do and just plonk onto your bed and get a good rest of at least 6 hours. but it seems that this is never gonna be true. thinking about the committments i have and all the rubbish, my brain can just go haywire.
Competition period is here, and i have to stress about it. Not that i will be playing for every single match, but about coach, stressing me to go for trainings which are TOTALLY USELESS AND MEANINGLESS whereby none of the sessions i see him coaching me. What's the point? i wouldn't be so stupid like an freaking idiot to listen to him and go for trainings.
Tests are coming here. starting this wednesday and will be having test every week then. i have no idea which and what kind of state will i turn to.
Ballet exam next month. i obviously do not have much time left to start squeezing time to practice at home. it is definitely not very nice to start your new week in school EVERY MONDAYS, having muscle cramps, especially your calves muscles, not being able to walk properly or rum properly or even get your butt down on the floor. Do i have to endure this pain every week? yes i do. and it always last for at least 3 days before it goes off. blisters arent very nice for me too. getting all those shit blisters on my toes are totally hell. especailly when you have to waste one whole bunch of plasters just for your toes when you practice ballet, and then after you just throw them away for new ones. And then the worst things are on every mondays in school i have PE in school and got to run around around the track, and i just have to run and not think about the shit on pain.
Modern jazz exam coming up in may. i don't give a damn about it.
I am screwed.
Crying in my heart.